Pretend
by Andantenne to Percupine
Summary: The only way to survive is to pretend..." SoraxRiku R&R!


**Another one shot! It's angst, well, my first angst story :). Hehe, I updated it. Not much changes though :p  
**

**Okay, so, I'm just in this bad mood and bored, then I listen to this song: 'Parasite Eve's main theme-orchestral version, by Yoko Shimomura' (it's a really good song, and matches a lot with this story). So I make up this story (Ha, some kind of releasing my stress).**

**It's kinda depressing for me but, I hope you'll like it! Enjoy:D!**

**Disclaimer : KH's not mine.**

* * *

**Pretend**

_**I'm used to pretend.**_

_**I'm used to hide my self.**_

_**It's easier for me though.**_

"Sora, don't you think it's time to go?"

I lift my gaze up from my lap to the one who just called me. Riku. As usual, he looks at me with his aquamarine eyes, asking my problems to be poured out to him.

_No. Not today too._

"You okay?" he asked again, with a worried look.

"I'm fine," I feel myself smiling at him.

"Really? You look awful today," he said, lifting an eyebrow as he sat beside me on the couch.

"Maybe just a little tired," I say, eyes meet his, "Can we wait for another train?".

Riku looks back to see the train that's just arrived. We've been waiting for about 30 minutes and we're going to pass it? Well, that's really weird, even for me. He sighs, and I take a glance at him.

He looks really tired.

It's not strange though, to think that this place's not really a good place to wait or rest. As the station is about to be closed next month, no one really wants to pay attention to its cleanliness. Even the couch that I sit on right now made a crack sound when I first laid my body on it. Plus the noise that the arriving trains make. It's irritating.

"Oh, okay," he says, then looks at me with concern look, "Just tell me if you have any problems, 'kay?" He said, smiling at me truthfully.

_Sincere smile. I used to have the same smile too before all of this happens._

"Okay," I say, returning his smile.

_Before all of this happens…_

* * *

The sun light covered my eyes, I couldn't see a thing.

"Sora! Wait up!"

I looked back to the boy who just called me, he ran towards me as his short silver hair flew, blew by the wind. There he was, the 5 years old Riku.

He stopped right in front of me, smiling, "Sora! Let's meet again someday!"

"Someday?" I spoke, tears threatening to fall.

"Un!" he took my hand and squeezed it tight, his eyes still locked to mine, "Someday, I'll be by your side again. And it'll be forever."

"Riku…" I said, my eyes full of tears right then, "But you just can't. Mother said I can't be with you anymore, because you're a bad guy…"

"Do you think I am?" Riku asked, "I killed that cat because he made you cried. I'm just trying to protect you!"

I sobbed in silence for a moment before I nodded, "But… we don't have anything. We don't have the power. No--"

"When we grow up," Riku cut, his eyes staring intensely to our hands, "I'll be by your side."

"Then by that time…" He lifted his gaze, "I'll make sure no one will separate us."

* * *

"How long… have we traveled, Riku?"

That topic seems to catch Riku's interest. He looks at me again.

"…I don't know. Are you tired?" he asked, worrying about me. "…You're not… regretting, right?"

He always cares about me, since we're little until now.

_That's really good isn't it? …If only this is what I want._

"Not really," I shake my head in no, then gaze to nothing in front of me, "'cause we finally get our freedom. How would I regret it?"

"Yeah," Riku said, smiling slightly, "It's a very long way to reach it. No way we're going to regret it."

"Definitely not," I say, "After all, there's no place anymore for us if we're back now."

There's just silence then fills us, in this broke down station where no one's here.

This silence gives another chance to think, to be drown in my thoughts. The thought about my life, that I thought would be a plain one, nothing special. But, here I am. Right here waiting for another train to run. Run, to another place where no one would find us. Me and Riku.

I glance at my best friend for awhile.

_My best friend. As if I could say that…_

I still remember everything. Just about two months ago, he came back for me. That's when everything's started.

* * *

"Riku?"

My eyes widened as I looked at the person who stood in front of me. The figure of my old silver-haired friend. Stood in front of my apartment.

"I've fulfilled my promise, see?" he said, smiling at me, as usual.

"Why did you—"

"Sora, who's that?"

My mother came out from the kitchen, stared at the stranger, "…Your friend?"

"Uh…" I panicked, "No, just some businessman! Just continue your cooking, mom!"

"Businessman?" that brunette woman seemed not believe in me, oh damn. She walked towards me, and narrowing her eyes…

_Oh, if she remembers!_

"…You are?"

"Sora's friend, nice to meet you," Riku said calmly, extended a hand to her, which she took hesitantly.

"Oh, nice to meet you too.. May I know your name?" she asked, arched an eyebrow.

He smiled, "Tom."

"Oh, okay," weird, she didn't recognize him? After what he had done? "So, why did you lie to me, Sora? Geez," she said, placed her hands on her hip as she narrowing her eyes to me.

"Come in! Sora barely has any visitor since we moved here." She walked back to the kitchen, "You can have dinner with us too if you want," she smiled at him before disappearing to the said room.

I looked at this event in unbelievement, that, before I felt a hand slipped around my neck.

"I've been waiting for this moment, Sora," he said to my ear, placed his head on my shoulder.

I felt my self shuddered.

_Why? I'm not… I'm not scared about him… right?_

"…But, you can't appear like that! What if mom finds out?" I said, trying to fight the chill that I felt.

"Let her be," he whispered to my ear, "I have the power now, Sora."

"Huh?"

"I won't lose you anymore."

_If only I could turn back the time, I would have done it._

* * *

Mother had gone to the market, leaving me alone to do my homework in my room. It's so silent.

_Ugh. Annoying._

Just then, the door bell rang.

I lifted my eyebrow. Wow, it's really quick for her.

I stood up and walked to the front door. I opened it lightly, to meet no one else but him…

"Riku?"

"Hey," he greeted me with his usual smile.

I tilted my head to side, "What are you doing?"

"I bring something for you, may I come in?" he said, as he lifted a wrapped box to me.

"Well, mother seems wouldn't come back till evening…" I said to myself in a very small tone, then I looked back at him.

He looked back into my eyes, still with his smile on his face. Somehow, I felt chill inside. I didn't know, it's just.. scared me, the way he looked at me. But I shoved all of those feelings away, instead, I smiled back at him, "Come in."

He followed me in, and put the box on the kitchen table. I eyed him. It looked like he was making sure no one's home. Which was strange.

"Don't you ask why I am alone?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. It's weird, as if Riku had known that I was alone right then.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Where's your mother?"

"Shopping," I replied, gazing to anything else except him.

But I could feel that he was staring at me…

_What are you staring at?_

I'd like to say that. Strange though, I didn't have enough courage.

"Do you want to drink?", I asked, trying to deviate him from whatever he was thinking.

"Hm? No, it's okay," He said, still staring at me with his aquamarine eyes.

"Um... Kay."

Silence felt upon us. I didn't know how he felt, but... I did feel uncomfortable.

"Hey, can you help me do my homework? It's pretty difficult for me," I said, trying to break this awkward silence.

"Sure," he said, then he followed me to my room.

I opened the door to my bedroom and sat on the floor where I did my homework. The papers were scattered every where.

"Your room's pretty messy, huh?" was his comment.

"Well…I'm a boy after all," I said, shrugging.

Yeah, I knew my room's not tidy, even though the only thing inside was a bed. I didn't care, though.

I sat on the floor, took my book, "This problem—"

Before I could realize, I was pinned to the floor. He caught both of my wrists. And his aquamarine eyes staring at me in hunger.

"R-Riku?" I was afraid, I couldn't move even a bit. His grip was too strong, and his leg pinned mine.

"I've been waiting for years, Sora," he said, still gazing at me with that damn look.

"I know! Get off me!" I yelled in panic. But he didn't move a bit.

"Don't you want me too, Sora?"

I stunned.

_What was he saying?_

"I always want you," he said, before he leaned down to me.

"What are you--?" I tried to resist the urge to spit to him. He's my friend after all.

"I want you."

And he brushed his lips with mine.

_What!?_

I couldn't think of anything, I tried to break the kiss. But found it's useless. His grasps on me were to tight that it hurt my wrists.

_It's disgusting. _

_I felt so contaminated. _

Just then, he pressed his body closer to me. I yelped in shock and he used that chance to slipped a tongue into my mouth.

_Damn it! I'm not a whore!_

I whimpered, kept trying to move anything that I could move. Riku seemed to realize this, he pulled back and looking at me with a concern look.

"You don't want to?"

_You're crazy! I'm a boy, you know!_

I wished I could say that. All I did was just staring back at him with a shock face. Panted in silence, I didn't know what to say...

_Why? I'm not scared of him… right?_

"No. that's not true," he continued, gave me a smile. A weird smile. "You always want me too."

I wanted to snap. I must.

But his eyes were so intimidating. I couldn't move. Couldn't even say a thing.

_I'm afraid._

* * *

"You seem to think hardly," his voice breaks my thought. So I gaze at him as I smile.

"Some kind of," I say, trying to hide my feeling.

"Hm? I hope it's about us," Riku says, grinning at me.

I can't say anything. I just return his grin.

_How pathetic._

"I'd wonder too," he continues, as he gazes upwards, "What'll we do next?"

I blink. "I thought you've planned everything?"

"Well," he says, gazing back to me, "All that I planned was just how to get you back. Nothing else."

I stare at him.

_Just to get me back? Since when am I yours?_

But I just smile at him.

"Maybe, we can start to stay at one place? We pick one of the places we've ever been, start a good living with it."

"That's good," he says, smiling at me, "A peaceful village would be perfect."

"…yeah. The village that surrounded by flower field," I say, a little bit trailed off, "Far from the city's crowd. And all that we could hear, is just the sound of singing birds."

_Why do I have to think about this anyway?_

…_All of this. It's just a lie._

"And then we'd live in a little house, just the two of us," he says, staring into my eyes deeply, "It'd be wonderful."

_A lie._

"It will," I smile.

_Because I'm afraid…_

* * *

"Ri…ku?"

All of my body felt numb, as I saw my friend stood there. His body was… covered by blood. Below him, was a body, laid lifelessly, in mess…

That blood of… my mother.

I screamed, but, Riku. He's just laughing.

_How could--?_

"Guess what," he said, turned to face me, "She finds out. And she still remembers about that accident."

"…What…?" I shuddered, my legs had given up a long ago, and now I sat on the carpet, looking at him with fear.

"She tries to separate us again, Sora. But I won't let that happens," he said, almost in satisfied tone, "Not anymore."

"But you--you can't!" I tried to speak, but… it's just too difficult.

He walked towards me, his hand still holding the blooded knife that he had used to stab the woman into pieces…

He stopped before me and kneeled. I heard my self began to sob, harder and harder as he extended his hand and placed it on my cheek.

"N-no… Don't…" I sobbed, my eyes just couldn't let go from those aquamarine's hungry stare.

"Don't be scared," he said, smiling at me, "I won't hurt you."

_How could he… smile? _

I felt my self shuddered of fear, and sobbed harder when he leaned forward, and hugged me.

The scent of blood that's still so clear from his body made me almost puked.

"You're the only thing that's precious to me," He whispered to my ear.

"What if—I just… leave you?" I dared between my sobs.

_I don't know… I'm just so scared, yet angry._

"…then I'll do everything."

I felt the touch of the knife on my back.

"I'll do everything to make you mine."

* * *

Riku has fallen asleep. Waiting is really not something he's good at. And I'm just sitting here, watching him. It's really rare to see him sleeping, to think that I'm the one who always sleep earlier.

_Today's perfect._

Another train, and another train has passed a long time ago. I don't bother to wake him up, no. I'm not going to do that.

I reach my suitcase, reach the small bag from it. I take out a small pocket knife from the bag, flip it open.

_**I'm used to pretend.**_

_**I'm used to hide my self.**_

I turned back to him, who is still sleeping peacefully.

_**It's easier for me though.**_

My eyes still gazing at his perfect figure. I'm used to wish to be like him. The only one whom I always admire.

I smile.

_That's really an old wish. The wish that I made, when we first met._

_**But I just can't take it.**_

_**Don't blame me.**_

_**It's tiring.**_

"…Good night."

With one stab, I finish it. Right on his heart.

_**Maybe all that I've done were mistakes.**_

_**But I could only cover it.**_

Riku snaps his eyes to open in shock. He looks at me first, then to the knife that's left on his chest.

"…Why?"

I just look at him, with my usual gaze. As if nothing's happened.

"You're my best friend," I smile. How I wish we could stay like that.

_**Just pretend.**_

He tries to take out the knife, panting. My smile's widened.

_How nice it is, to see him so vulnerable._

"…Sora…" he hissed, "…you're…"

"Don't worry, I'll catch up," I say, putting my hand on his cheek softly, "'cause there'll be no place for us anywhere in this world."

"…" Riku's breath becomes heavier as he closes his eyes. He pressed my hand firmer on his cheek and then smirks, "Then, we'll be together now?"

_**Just pretend.**_

"We will," I smile widely at him, "Forever and ever."

"…Good."

_**And I'll be saved. **_

I stare at his body for a moment, before I take out the knife and fold it. I put it in my suitcase and stood up. Leaving the station.

* * *

"Hey, could you help me, please?"

I turn to see my neighbor is lifting his luggage into his house.

"Sure!" I smile and walk to him, helping him to lift it.

"Thanks! Usually I can do this alone, but the sun's too bright today that it makes the weather so hot!" he says, giving me a cheerful smile.

"Yeah," I reply, as I gaze to my surroundings, "But I like this village. It's peaceful."

"Yep, especially the flower field. It's my favorite place!" he says.

I smile to myself, "This is the place that I always dream for."

We walk to his house in silence, the only sound that's heard is the bird's sing. When we reach his farm, he stops and smiles at me, "Thanks! You can put that in here, Mr…?"

I look at him, replying his smile.

"Riku."

* * *

_**Right?**_

**I don't know if it's any good or not, 'cause it's my first time writing this kind of story. So, I really hope for you reviews! Please XD! Any reviews would make me glad :).**


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